What is a home? The meaning of “home” is not the same for all, but for most, it’s not just where you shelter from storms and sleep, it’s also where you gather, retreat, feel safe, gain strength, care for family and friends and hopefully find happiness and peace.
One person’s shack is another person’s palace
I’m always respectful when I go into homes. I watch what I say and what I do. As a property manager, I’m in homes all the time meeting tenants and clients for inspections, repairs, and marketing plans. Some homes are far cleaner than mine, some not so much. Some homes have expensive artwork with lights pointed at it and some have posters. I’ve seen my share of nudes, some tasteful and some incredibly risqué that made me blush, but I never say a word.
They say one person’s shack is another person’s palace, so when I struggle to find positives about a home that I’m writing a description for, I think back to my younger years. What would childhood Mary have loved about this home? What would my 20-year old self have found cool?
Homeowners always know what drew them to even the most unusual homes
Every home has something special when I look from that perspective. It may be the location, proximity to a military base, vaulted ceilings, split bedroom floorplan (away from the kids), a good climbing tree, a garden or just the possibility of a future garden. In modern real estate times, they say agents should paint a picture for shoppers, so they can imagine how great life would be there.
I try to ask clients what THEY love about THEIR home to get those tid-bits that aren’t always obvious. I’ve found that homeowners always know what drew them to even the most unusual homes. They usually smile when they recount what it was.
I grew up in a lower-income household and when I was in the 7th grade, a classmate discovered that my family lived in a “trailer home” and spent the day mocking me for it. So when I got to high school and my friends could drive, I’d have them drop me off down the street, so they wouldn’t see where I lived. I have never shared that before and I never told my family. I didn’t want them to be hurt. Back then I was embarrassed, but now, I wish I could just hug my 12-year old self.
Looking back, I remember when we moved into that “trailer home.” We were so excited, because it was much nicer than the block home we were moving from. The manufacturer of the mobile home cleverly put the model name “Dream Home” on the side and at that time for us, it truly was. It had central air conditioning and a built-in microwave, and we had never had either. Microwaves had been out for many years by then, and I was so excited to “nuke” food and pop popcorn like my friends.
The main draw for my parents was that water didn’t seep through the floor when it rained like our block home. It was safe, dry and within budget.
Sadly the “Dream Home” was miles from the friends that I was accustomed to joining daily for bike-rides or to collect bottles to turn in for candy and an RC Cola at the Go-Shack or to Cheryl’s Produce for some boiled peanuts.
The best part about our block home was that my best friend and “adopted” 2nd parents were right next door! When I couldn’t BE at Bobbie Jo’s house, we were meeting at the chain link fence to plot a sleepover. I always remember my happy childhood memories growing up on Flora Ave, but to have the “Dream Home” we all had to sacrifice.
People live where they can afford to for the most part. A misspoken word about someone’s chosen decor or an unusual update can feel like an insult or judgment. There is a definite art to help someone prepare their home for the competitive real estate market so that it appeals to shoppers without making them feel self-conscious about themselves, the their home, or what they can afford to do. I think coming from where I did, I’m uniquely equipped for my profession.
In a tiny home there is little privacy
The “Dream Home” was only 2 bedrooms, so my brother and I shared a room until high school. My parents finally decided we needed to close in our only living room space, to make a 3rd bedroom. But, the new walls added didn’t go up to the ceiling, so there still wasn’t much privacy, and with no living area, there wasn’t much space to have friends over anymore. Remember that “unusual update” I mentioned?
I spent a lot of time in my “new” private space on the phone, listening to music, writing poetry, passing time until I was old enough to get a job, save money, and buy a car.
Looking back now, I just see my little room with the blue floral wallpaper that I got for my birthday and my mom put up for me – just one wall. I see the closets that I tucked into to talk to my future husband, because in a tiny home, there is little privacy. Here was where my dad taught me to drive on the back roads and where I washed and waxed my first car – a mint condition 1964 Chevrolet Corvair Monza that I paid for all by myself.
That tiny home is also where I had to confess to my parents that I was pregnant at 17, and where they accepted it and moved on to embrace the birth of their first grandchild. I shared my bedroom in that tiny home with my daughter for a time and even moved back home to live once in a while (rent-free) so I could put my young life back together and start again stronger. I’ve got pictures of my baby girl in a lacy white bassinet against the blue floral birthday wallpaper.
I never dreamed I’d live somewhere like Princess Anne Crossing
Years later, when I was in my mid-thirties, we bought our once-in-a-lifetime home. As soon as we walked in the door for our showing, I was sure we’d made a mistake! No way could we afford this home and they were going to know because I felt it was written all over my face.
The owners gave us the full tour. They wined and dined us at the “Brazilian barbecue.” We didn’t know what to think by the end of the evening, but I got home and immediately emailed them our offer. I made sure to mention that it was the only offer I’d be sending, because it was the top of our financial ability. The next day (to our utter shock and dismay) they accepted our offer!
I never dreamed I’d live somewhere like Princess Anne Crossing. Half of my childhood was spent in the leaky block home and the other in a 2-bedroom single-wide trailer. I immediately imagined the life we would have there. My kids could have as many friends over as they wanted, we’d have birthday parties and they’d be so proud of our home. One thing I think all parents have in common is they all want to give their kids more than they had. It isn’t always a home, it can be anything – educational opportunities, love, patience, time, siblings, health, you name it.
My kids got to grow up in Princess Anne Crossing. Even the name sounded majestic! When we moved in they were little and these days it’s just us two. We’ve never been married without kids in the house after all. It’s a little sad, but happy at the same time, because here is where my husband and I have re-connected and found our place in life together again – empty nesters now but still happy. We’re starting a new chapter and still enjoying the wonderful features of this home, but in new ways.
One day this house will belong to another family, and I’ll be sad to let go. It’s my “Dream Home,” even though it may not be that to everyone. It isn’t hard for me to convey happiness to the shopping public in a real estate description or to tell people what drew me to the home. The reasons are immeasurable.
I may live in many homes in my lifetime, but this will always be where where I watched my daughters grow, waited out deployments, hosted 21st birthdays, command functions, poker nights, bridal showers, provided a safe harbor to friends and family in need, taken prom pictures in the butterfly garden, thrown graduation bashes, served Thanksgiving dinners to family, friends and an occasional sailor who couldn’t go home for the holidays.
I’ll shed a tear for the changing seasons of my life, but I know wherever we move will be home as long as Joe and I are together and we have those we love nearby to make good times and memories.
At the end of the day, home is not the structure at all, but those that we let in them and the moments that we share inside.
Always, if you have questions, we’ve got answers! Mary K. @ Stephanie Clark Property Management
Tags: Home, Kenworthy, Norfolk, Princess Anne Crossing, Property Management, Real Estate, Virginia Beach